Before Your Partner Examines Your Motives

by BJMenter on October 30, 2009

Before you dive in and start putting your picture and profile on a site, I am going to ask you to do something first. It is, I feel, important to consider first what we really want and why - our own motives - before we decide to post.

Some plus-size women have been alone for a long time. It is true that that type of dry spell can create an unbearable loneliness.

That is certainly a reason to go looking for someone. Yet I urge you to stop and consider that while you are lonely, it may not be the perfect time for you to place an ad.  If you do you stand a chance of driving yourself crazy waiting breathlessly for a response. You will display an unhealthy craving for someone, just about anyone to respond to you. In other words, you will be vulnerable.

You have heard it before; not all may appear, as it seems on the net just like in the real world. People can and do portray themselves as other than what they really are, and everyone from scammers to just plain jerks are on these sites, along with the nice people. In upcoming posts, I will give you some tips for protecting yourself, your identity, and, yes, even your heart.

The first thing I am going to urge you to do one thing per week to get out and introduce yourself to people in your community. Yes, volunteer through work for a cause, to work on a committee, improve someone else’s situation in life, or to help promote yourself and your career. Take a non-credit course at a community center or college. Smile and say hello to your neighbors - read, garden, sew - do something.

In other words – place yourself in a happier spot before and while you place your ad

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